The Science Behind Friendship And 5 Ways To Nurture These Wonderful Connections

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The Science Behind Friendship And 5 Ways To Nurture These Wonderful Connections

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The Science Behind Friendship And 5 Ways To Nurture These Wonderful Connections

13 min read JUL 14, 2025

Friendships are not only one of the sweetest aspects of life, but they are also one of the most important connections a person can experience.

In fact, researchers claim these connections are just as, if not more, important than family.

As you likely know and have experienced in your own life, friendships are unique in that these relationships can widely vary.

For instance, you may have work friends, but these relationships could differ greatly from the friendships you’ve gained in your neighborhood.

Then, you may have a large group of friends, but these relationships could potentially differ from the type of close friendship you have with your best gal pals or guy friends.

Of course, some friendships are lifelong relationships, while others seem to only last a short time. And, some friendships could be categorized as close or intimate relationships, while others are more casual.

No matter the type of friendships we’ve been blessed with in life, we instinctively know these relationships are a special gift.

But, what makes friendships differ from one to the next?

And, what can you do to nurture the connections you have with your friends, from those casual relationships to work friends, groups of friends, besties and more?

Today we’ll be looking at the science behind friend relationships as well as some ways you can strengthen such connections, so grab a cup of coffee and slowly sip with us as we explore and celebrate friendship!

5 Types Of Friendships And The Science Behind Life’s Most Common Connections

A group of five friends sit together at an outdoor café table, smiling and laughing as they enjoy coffee and conversation. The setting is relaxed and casual, with cups of coffee and smartphones on the table. The diverse group exudes warmth, connection, and joy, capturing the essence of meaningful friendships.

Interests, personalities, communication, and more…these are some of the common factors at play concerning friendship connections.

You know the scene; you get to chatting with your neighbor and soon learn that you have a common interest in gardening.

One day you’re sharing tips about pruning, the next day you’re lending a hand with mulching, then you’re sharing in the bounty of your fresh blooms, and before you know it, your prized flowers aren’t the only things blooming, for now you’ve built the foundations of friendship through a shared interest and much communication.

Still other friendships look a little different, these potentially forming in the midst of tragedy, over years of bonding at work, or throughout your formative years in school or even college.

No matter the roots, the types of friends we enjoy throughout life can differ greatly, and there’s even a bit of science behind this type of connection we share with others.
So, let’s take a look…

1- Acquaintances

Three young adults stand outdoors in a sunlit park, engaged in a cheerful conversation. The man in the center, wearing a blue shirt, smiles brightly while gesturing with his hands. The two others, one in a yellow shirt and the other in pink, listen attentively, creating a friendly and relaxed atmosphere. The background features trees and a blurred building, emphasizing a casual social interaction among acquaintances.

Many consider acquaintances to be the first or even the base level of any type of friendship.

These connections are typically described as people you don’t actually know very well.

Maybe these folks are those you’ve only met through a friend of a friend, online, or at a regular class or group event.

Typically, these types of relationships aren’t characterized by deep connection, but personally I want to add that these relationships can be those which eventually become lifelong friends.

I mean, aren’t all friends mere acquaintances at some point?

Generally speaking, the true definition of an acquaintance refers to the type of relationship that’s barely skin deep and usually doesn’t deepen.

But, acquaintances are also what some have referred to as blank slates, those types of connections that have the potential to develop into something deeper.

Scientifically speaking, acquaintances generally have a surface level bond, connecting over shared interests, but lacking deep communication or a shared emotional connection.

2- Casual Friends

Three women sit together at a wooden table in a cozy café, enjoying coffee and croissants while engaging in lively conversation. They appear relaxed and cheerful, dressed in casual, warm clothing. Sunlight streams through the window, creating a bright and inviting atmosphere that highlights the comfort and connection of casual friendship.

Casual friendships are sometimes thought to be the most common type of friend relationship.

These connections refer to some work friendships, large friend groups, and those folks with whom you may enjoy a night out, a fun adventure, or even have snapped a few photographs with from time to time.

These connections aren’t typically very deep, but they do provide the vital need of community.

Casual friendships often form around shared interests, and these provide companionship as well as light-hearted interactions and conversation.

While these aren’t deep and intimate connections, casual friendships are very important to our overall health and wellbeing as humans.

The experts agree that casual friendships are needed for good mental and emotional health, helping to keep us from feeling lonely, even boosting cognitive health and decreasing the risk of depression.

3- Close Friends

Three women are sitting together at a small round table in a cozy café, each holding a drink and engaged in lively conversation. A vase with white flowers and a smartphone rest on the table in front of them. Natural light fills the airy, modern space, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.

Close friends share a deeper connection than those friendships we’ve detailed thus far.

These friendships are generally characterized as having a deeper connection than a casual friend or acquaintance, but roadblocks such as distance or even history can differentiate between this type of relationship and that of a best friend.

Personally, I have close friends that I could (and have) called upon in times of great distress, and these gems have been used greatly in these times of need.

However, (at least in my life) these friends live several hours away, and this distance creates a hurdle to deepening such a connection.

In this type of friendship, of course, when you are able to ‘get together,’ you have an undeniable connection and love for one another, but at the end of the day, other factors prevent this valuable relationship from deepening.

Similar to lifelong friends and best friends (which we’ll see in a moment), scientists find that emotional intelligence and connection as well as shared experiences and even neurological similarities often explain why some folks are able to experience such a uniquely valuable relationship.

4- Lifelong Friends

### Image Alt Text Two women are outdoors, standing closely together and smiling in a moment of affection. Both are wearing denim jackets, and the woman on the left wears a floral-patterned top. The background is a sunlit park with green grass and blurred trees. One woman is gently holding the other, creating a warm, friendly atmosphere.

Some think of lifelong friends as best friends, but a common phrase used to differentiate between these two types of relationships is “depth over duration.”

Of course, some lifelong friendships (duration) are also blessed with great depth and closeness, and these you could easily classify as lifelong best friends, but for our purpose today, we’ll make a distinguishment between the two using the above phrase - referring to lifelong friends using the term duration and saving the aspect of depth for best friends.

Lifelong friends are typically those people we’ve encountered early in life, those who know a great deal about us, but time and distance may have lessened the depth of connection we could have with such individuals.

These types of friends may not be in close proximity to you later in life, but this type of connection typically indicates that you have many shared experiences, you could potentially have close familial ties, you likely have made lasting memories together, and you may have endured both highs and lows together.

And sure, these types of friendships don’t necessarily have to have been formed in school or family settings, but this is often the case.

While these connections may not be considered as close as best friends, I find these types of friendships to be uniquely blessed.

Lifelong friends consist of those types of relationships that can pick up as if no time has elapsed once an opportunity for meeting arises.

These types of friendships, while lacking continual depth, do characteristically (and uniquely) have a depth or closeness that defies the rules of most friend relationships.

For instance, as I ponder this type of relationship, I fondly think of two classmates of mine.

These two people and I were friends throughout high school and college, but after college, we lost touch.

Other than hit and miss interactions on social media, we really communicate other than once a year during an annual 4th of July celebration we generally each attend.

What’s amazing to me about this - during that Independence Day celebration, we catch up, connect, laugh, and even cry, as if we’ve been in contact continually.

And, during this annual time shared, it’s truly as if no time has elapsed. Our bonds are just as solid as they were in our youth, and we can share meaningful life events, emotions, joys, and more.

While this type of friendship may not be that of your typical bestie, I find it to characterize true friendship well, the type of connection that time and life events can’t diminish, the type of friends that are truly friends for life!

Science doesn’t have a lot to say about the uniqueness of such friendships, but most experts agree that shared emotional events and even emotional maturity or intelligence plays a large role in the type of connection shared here.

5- Best Friends

Two people are sitting side by side at a café table, each with a cup of coffee in front of them. One person is wearing a light pink T-shirt with long wavy hair, while the other wears a white short-sleeved shirt with straight hair. They appear relaxed and engaged with each other in a cozy outdoor café setting, with curtains and another patron visible in the background.

We’ve discussed close friends and lifelong friends, but the experts generally put best friends in a category of their own.
Why?

Because a true best friend relationship goes even deeper than a close friend or a lifelong connection.

In the case of a best friend, this type of connection is deep, one which displays a great level of trust, emotional intelligence, emotional connection, and even reliance.

In the case of a best friend, this unique bond is one that isn’t easily displaced or disintegrated.
Best friends, in particular, have a rare ability to provide support and show forth unconditional love.

And, this is where I find the science behind this type of connection to be amazing…

As humans, unconditional love, support, and connection is rare for us. We’re not all wired for unconditionality.

I mean, if you want to get right down to it, more often than not, we’re a fickle people, commonly tossed about by our emotions and differences.

But, in the case of best friends, experts have found that such relationships have remarkable similarities, those which are believed to be a part of the glue that binds such friendships:

Best friends commonly have neurological similarities, meaning their brains respond in similar ways to circumstances and situations.
Best friends may even be linked genetically, with researchers finding close best friend relationships are often chosen due to genetic similarities.
Best friend relationships also commonly have psychological similarities, here particularly mirroring one another emotionally, with both individuals typically possessing the capability to understand one another on a deep emotional level.

5 Ways To Nurture Connections Between Friends

No matter the depth of your friend relationships, these connections are vital.

So then, let’s close out our time today looking at a few ways you can foster these relationships, nurturing the connections you share with your friends!

1- Communication

Four people are seated around a table in a cozy cafe with shelves of bottles and jars behind them. They are engaged in a lively conversation, each holding a white cup as if sharing coffee or tea. The group includes individuals with a variety of hair colors and textures, dressed casually, and interacting in a warm, social atmosphere. A small green plant sits on the table next to some cups and a can, adding to the welcoming ambiance of the cafe setting.

Communication is key, no matter the type of relationship, including friendships.
In fact, communication is so vital, that any relationship without it is almost certainly destined to fail.

Communication is often described as the foundation of successful friendships.

Why? Because, communication is needed to learn about one another, to build trust, to resolve conflicts, and ultimately build or strengthen the connection(s) we have with others.

Psychologist John Gottman describes communication as something that can make or break a friendship, also stating that “the quality of [any] relationship is determined by the quality of your communication.”

So then, how can you effectively communicate within any given friendship?

We often think of communicating solely in terms of speaking, but effective communication, first and foremost, involves listening…or rather active listening.

To nurture your friendships, be sure to actively listen to what your friends are saying, both verbally and non-verbally.

Avoid distractions and make sure you give your friends your undivided attention when communicating.

Don’t interrupt, maintain eye contact, and exercise empathy or understanding regarding your friends’ feelings.

Ask questions. Show respect. Show genuine care and concern.

And, be sure you are open with your friends, sharing your own heart, being authentic, and communicating not only gratitude, kindness, and care, but also expressing concerns within your relationships rather than harboring feelings that could otherwise be resolved in caring conversation.

Then, also make sure you’re clear when communicating.

Be aware of your own thoughts and feelings, especially any time there may be a misunderstanding in such friendships. Then, spend time truly reflecting upon your feelings prior to communicating any concerns with friends.

I feel like it’s just our human nature to sometimes speak before we’ve had time to think. But, when it comes to relationships, it’s best to allow enough time to contemplate those thoughts and feelings before we communicate any concerns.

This not only gives us time to filter or sort through fleeting emotions, but it helps us to be more effective once communication occurs.

2- Connection & Coffee

Two people are seated at a round wooden café table, each holding a cup of coffee with latte art. One person is using a smartphone, showing a map on the screen, while the other person holds a cup with both hands. On the table are two more empty saucers, a cup of tea, a phone, and a set of salt and pepper shakers. The setting appears cozy and casual, with natural light illuminating the scene.

Staying connected is vital in any friendship.

Remember those lifelong friend examples I shared above? Well, without that annual time to reconnect, those relationships wouldn’t be as close as they are.

So, catching up, chatting, sharing conversation, and well…connecting…are a must. But, how often do we fail to connect simply because we lack ways to facilitate such connection?

Here, coffee comes in with a colossal win!

How many times have you said or heard the following - “let’s get together for a cup of coffee and catch up?”

Chatting over a cup of coffee - no matter how often, no matter how close you are with your coffee companion - provides a universal means for conversation.

And, the thing is, this setting is seemingly a broad ground for connection.

I’ve met with old friends to casually catch up over coffee. And, I’ve met with close, best friends over coffee to laugh, cry, and everything in between.
I’ve watched what appears to be budding friendships, forming across a cafe in a cozy corner.

And, I’ve witnessed others meeting up regularly over a mug or two to keep that friendship connection going through meaningful conversation.

No matter how you connect with friends - over coffee, kayaking, shopping, a night out, gardening, long drives with a shared playlist, and on and on - the experts agree (and so do we) that making a conscious effort to connect with friends is a needed means to ensure your friendship thrives.

So, honor those relationships by having some fun, and celebrate your friendships through some of these further means of connection!

3- Kindness

Two people are seated indoors in a well-lit room, embracing each other in a warm hug. One person wears a white shirt with long wavy hair, while the other has a light purple top and their hand gently rests on the other's shoulder. The background shows blurred chairs and large windows with natural light streaming in, creating a comforting and supportive atmosphere.

This likely goes without saying, but kindness is key in any relationship, including friendships.

I’m not talking about a cordial kindness expressed to strangers, but one that reaches beyond the surface in action, a true heart of love, care, and genuineness reciprocally shown in a friendship.

No matter whether your casual friends, acquaintances, or besties, showing kindness - and treating others how you’d like to be treated - is essential.

4- Cultivation…

A group of people stand in a circle, each person clasping the hands of the others. The photo is taken from above, showing their joined hands as a symbol of unity and teamwork. The individuals wear professional clothing in various shades, emphasizing a sense of collaboration in a diverse workplace setting.

Essentially, I’m using this term to fit with the c/k theme I’ve got going on here in this section, but I’m using this as a starter for a number of needed things in any friendship.

For true connection, there are many things we should cultivate in a friendship, including:

Trust
Gratitude
Communication
Support
Authenticity

This is a short list, but being honest and cultivating trust in a friendship fosters connection.

Reflecting on your relationships and expressing (internally and verbally) gratitude to others fosters connection.

As we’ve seen above, communication is also necessary for connection.

Supporting your friends, in good times and bad, is foundational for creating deep, meaningful connections.

And, it likely goes without saying, but being yourself is also essential for nurturing or fostering true connection in friendships.

5- Consideration

Two women are seated on a sofa in a softly lit room. One woman, wearing a white striped shirt and ripped jeans, leans forward sympathetically, resting her hand on the other woman's shoulder. The second woman, dressed in a plain white t-shirt and dark jeans, sits with her hands clasped and head lowered, as if feeling sad or upset. The background includes light curtains and a cozy indoor setting, suggesting a supportive or comforting conversation.

The notion of consideration is another all-encompassing aspect of friendship.

True consideration is deeper than kindness, showing true compassion and care, preferring others above yourself in nearly all situations.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about yourself, not at all, but no matter what stage you’re in within your friendships, showing consideration by going the extra mile, checking in, being kind, being supportive, listening, and being empathetic is an aspect of connection that serves as what I would term as the building blocks of any friendship.

And, don’t be fooled…building blocks are needed at all stages of friendship, for unlike a building/structure, friendships are connections that change and grow throughout life.

So, if we want these connections to deepen and grow, consideration (in all of the aspects we’ve discussed here and more) is imperative.

Check out Lifeboost Coffee Grata Medium Roast.

Becky Livingston Vance Content writer

Becky is a mother, educator, and content writer for Lifeboost Coffee. She has had three years’ experience as a writer, and in that time she has enjoyed creatively composing articles and ebooks covering the topics of coffee, health and fitness, education, recipes, and relationships.